A Special Friend

A special friend is someone who is hard to find and difficult to lose. How much more to forget? We do not make friends because they are useful but the tie once it becomes stronger has a number of positive aspects. They become our anchor once we are tired, restless and helpless. Just listening to their voice or reading their messages, we are already uplifted. But sometimes, they also come and go.

Communication is very important in a lasting friendship because it enables people to deeply understand each other, and, thereby, gradually develop the ability to feel inwardly close to each other, as caring good friends. Good communication in true friendship means that one does not keep one’s inner experience to oneself alone, but, instead, actively reaches out to share one’s experience, feelings, thoughts, and needs with another person, as openly and honestly as possible.

Good communication also involves being open to consider another person’s viewpoint and needs, and constructively exploring differences that may arise between oneself and the other person, without trying to win an argument, but, rather, only seeking for truth of those issues, without blaming or trying to intimidate and control each other.

There are many people who are lucky enough have a large group of amazing friends who support them in facing all the difficulties and adversities of life. But for me, having a single good friend is enough for me to overcome all the hurdles in my life. A friend is someone I am not ashamed of sharing my past, my worst fears and my greatest pleasure. He is someone I can give my trust. He/she understands when I need his/her understanding. He/she is willing to offer his/her shoulder to comfort me when I feel alone and lonely. A simple,”Hi!” is enough to lighten up my day.

There are many cases of failed romantic relationships because people permit themselves to grow apart, or gradually drift apart, without ever taking responsibility to deeply reveal themselves to the other person in order to directly experience what the other person means by the particular words that they say, or write, “reading between the lines”. That deepest level of emphatic/intuitive communion is the source from which all true love and friendship arises, and that is what enables true love and friendship to keep growing deeper and closer.

What makes people true friends of each other is not outer physical contact, shared activities, and superficial social interaction, by themselves alone’ However, more importantly, arises from development of substantial inner connection, by giving deeply, generously, unselfishly, of their energies to each other, and openly, honestly, directly, revealing their actual experience and true essential core being to one another.

Many relationships fail when individuals seek to be heard and nurtured, but have not developed a sufficient ability to be unselfishly and emphatically responsive to the other person’s need to also be heard and nurtured, in terms of their particular needs, feelings, and experiences, in a given moment. It takes a rather high level of unselfish caring, sensitivity, and emotional maturity to be able to put aside one’s own needs for awhile, in order to emphatically tune into what another person is feeling and needing, in a given moment, and respond in a way that enables the other person to feel truly heard and deeply nourished/nurtured.

For a relationship to endure and grow, it is important for both individuals to be good friends in each other, willing to confide in each other, be there for each other emotionally as well as physically in times of need, and be willing to share difficult times, and patiently work through persistent problems in the relationship, rather than being quick to abandon the other person when discomfort arises.

Friendship is operated on the principle of LOVE. So, what are you looking for?

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